katekate

Kate:

William's bathroom door used to have a lock, you know. In fact, every door in Will's apartment used to lock. But that was before. Before Delaney's suicide attempt.

A lot of things have changed since then.

I guess, in the end though, that will be what saves me. I'm thinking that now as I'm laying on the bathroom floor. My wrist is slit upward. It's deep and the way the blood is gushing, I just know what I've done to myself. The blue vein that ran up my arm was cut.

I knew this was the end.

But it wasn't, it couldn't be because I know that Delaney will be home at any minute.

She shouldn't have left. But she had to. I was sleeping, and she needed to go to the store. That's what the note said.

The empty house left a weird ringing noise in my ears. I was used to the way Delaney fidgeted around as quietly as she could.

And what can I say, the blade I'd seen in the bathroom cabinet called to me.

It only took one. One long, six inch cut up my arm and I was dizzy. There was so much blood. Not the bubbling, random spots of blood that weren't uncommon along my skin. But the gushing, pouring blood that made me sick to my stomach.

Pressure, you idiot. Stop the bleeding.

No, I can't. I don't want to.

How long would it take? To die, I mean. It shouldn't be long now. I can feel the mask of unconsciousness slowly starting to come down on me. I want to scream but I can't find my voice. My throat is too dry for it to make a noise anyway.

I lay back on the cool tile, my head resting on a towel that Delaney had left laying on the floor.

And I wait.

Wait for it, the end. It should be more painful, shouldn't it? Horrible pain, not the nauseous, dizzy feeling that was overtaking me. But really though. I didn't feel anything.

It was fuzzy. My eyesight. Blurred so bad.

I still saw her though. Delaney. A scream bursting through her lips and she was on her knees in an instant. She was pressing something to my arm. Something cold and rough and I wanted to scream. To tell her to stop.

I thrashed on the floor. But just one of her cool hands was enough to pin me to the ground. There was so much blood.

It was a fight, keeping myself awake. A horrible battle and I was losing. I struggled to focus on her face. I wanted to remember anything and everything.

There's a phone to Delaney's ear and fuck, fuck she's calling for help.

He's not coming. Don't get your hopes up. He's with another girl and he's never coming back for you.

"No, that's not true."

Delaney's voice interrupts me and I know I've been saying everything outloud. All of my horrible thoughts, my wants, my needs. Everything outloud for her to hear.

I don't want to beat this. I want to die. And I'm going to. I let the dark cloud overtake me and my eyes close. My crying halts. My heartbeat slows.

I can hear the sirens in the distance.